This time more than the last…

I was so sad at the end of last season that I kept letting the new season add up on my tivo, resentful of the fact that there was a new cast (with the exception of Effy) that I would have to get to know and was convinced I would never care about as much as I cared about Cassie and the rest.
Well the other night Tashi convinced me a one single solitary stare that I must give this season a fair shot and sure enough I am in love. I am especially in love with Naomi, Emily and Thomas.

Best quote thus far -

“I do want you. So be brave and want me back.”
-Emily

1. Old habits can be both good and bad. Decide which ones to hold on to and which ones to throw away.

2. Even though change is hard and I find decisions excruciatingly difficult, lately I am relieved and happy with most choices I have made. Am I actually becoming a big girl?

3. It’s not funny or amusing to be staunch and bitchy about absolutely everything. I didn’t like that about myself, so why did I think that anyone else would find that attractive?

4. Life is far too short to keep everything in. If you love someone, are afraid for someone or want to hug or kiss someone or need a hug or a kiss, give it or ask for it - most likely it will be appreciated or given.

5. Cleaning can wait.

6. I have really lovely friends.

7. Cats are animals and don’t have people feelings. They aren’t really mad at me.

8. Try to only get as mad as is appropriate for whatever you are actually mad about…ex: am I crying and shouting about the mess on the floor or the fact that someone was an asshole to me at work?

9. I’m getting really good at turning the TV off.

10. Less thinking, more doing.

mebeachhat

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I don’t want to get over you. I guess I could take
a sleeping pill and sleep at will and not have to
go through what I go through. I guess I should take
Prozac, right, and just smile all night at somebody new,
Somebody not too bright but sweet and kind who would
try to get you off my mind. I could leave this agony behind
which is just what I’d do if I wanted to, but I don’t
want to get over you cause I don’t want to get over love.
I could listen to my therapist, pretend you don’t exist
and not have to dream of what I dream of; I could listen
to all my friends and go out again and pretend it’s enough,
or I could make a career of being blue–I could dress
in black and read Camus, smoke clove cigarettes and drink
vermouth like I was 17 that would be a scream but I
don’t want to get over you.

julian and sean.

When i was little i would listen to julian lennon’s album and cry and wonder how a man as wonderful as john lennon could have abandoned his son with another woman and started a new family with yoko and then paid so much attention to sean. Yes, these were the things i thought about when i was 7-ish. Sigh.

The point is that seeing this picture today made me so unbelievably happy - I always wondered what kind of relationship that had today. I would like to think they are very close half brothers.

The End.

There has been a facebook “make your own” quiz going around where you compose your own questions and ask your friends to answer questions to see how well they “know” you. It’s pretty silly because all my friends and family know me in different capacities, so everyone has done pretty poorly and I’ve been giving everyone a hard time as a result. I was really touched today because my baby cousin Robin wrote something in her defense that brought this strange water-like substance to my eyes. I think you people call them “tears?” I should note that for those of you that aren’t aware I have the memory of someone in early stages of alzhiemers, so when people recant stories they usually get super irritated because I have no recollection what so ever. Most people are getting used to this. Anyways, here was Robin’s response to her low score.

“emily don’t hate me! my score of 28% on that silly test does not reflect anything about my knowledge of you!!!!! i watched you pr at track meets (even though you don’t remember me being there), i know that in high school you were still part of the hello kitty birthday club (with the monthly calendars of double stamp days on your fridge), i know that you got a goldfish at the st. lukes carnival and proceeded to change it’s name weekly in accordance to your new crushes, i know that you used to try to be a mermaid in the pool and one time scrapped the shit out of your nose, i know that when you were upset you’d give the meanest silent treatment, i knew every song and dance to your silly musical because i went to EVERY show of it, i know that when you first got dial-up internet you looked up and printed out 100s of pics of leo dicapprio. you taught me pager spelling, how to drive from the passenger seat, how to play the flute and how to make friendship bracelets. i despise this test!”

little-robin-with-cat1

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dedicated guy.

Jesus Castillo was a day laborer who was killed by a drunk driver on April 19, 2009 in Echo Park on Glendale Blvd. I fucking hate drunk drivers.

http://www.citywatchla.com/content/view/2214/75/ghost bike

YOU: “Promise me one thing.”

ME: “Sure what’s up.”

YOU: “Promise me that whatever you do, you won’t take anyone else to T***m, that’s our special place.”

ME: “Um, ok. I’d never be able to afford it on my own anyway, but ok.”

YOU: “Ok, because that’s OUR place, so promise me.”

ME: “Ok.”

Stumbled across some interesting news. Have a blast and a half breaking the stupid promise YOU insisted on making with me. Bon Voyage and may all the mosquitos in Q.Roo greet you at the airport gates.

Besitos.

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Dear Myspace “People You Might Know” Function,
I appreciate what you are trying to do. I see that you are trying to help me network or something, but if I wanted to me friends with these assholes I would be already. All you’ve done is stolen a Facebook feature and put it on Myspace after I’ve been on it for like 6 years or something humiliating. I’ve clearly already carefully weeded through people so that I’m not in ANY WAY connected with them. Or I’ve done my monthly cleanse, which is going through and deleting people I no longer want anything to do with.
Oh, and I would especially appreciate it if you would stop suggesting that I “might know,” my ex. CLEARLY I deleted this person for a fucking reason and I would like to log in without seeing their face on my “people you might know” application. I feel like I need to get a restraining order against this application or something…fuck.
adale pues.
xx.

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